Life is Fragile

I know I already wrote today, but I just can't seem to shut my mind off. Life is fragile. There really isn't any other way to look at it. If something is fragile, we strive to take care of it. To nuture, admire, and love. How amazing this life is. No matter the struggles we face, life is beautiful.

I was talking with John Middleton, a great friend of mine, the other day about lifes challenges. I was reflecting on how strong the Calder family is. Regardless of the trials they are going through they have been patient, caring, loving, and ever faithful. What an example! John pointed out that he is sure just like I would not want the trials the Calder family has, and they would not want mine. How interesting that this life has been designed to help us grow; never designed to push us towards failure.

If life is fragile how should we treat it. President Monson in his article "Now is the Time" stated "How fragile life, how certain death. Because life is fragile and death inevitable, we must make the most of each day." I think making the most of each day means to live life to the fullest. That does nto mean that we should all take up dangerous sports and risk our lives for the seek of thrill. But instead we should let anger, sorrow, pain and misery disappear. Give up the carnal need to hold onto hurt feelings. Be willing to forgive, even when you may not feel that you are ready to. I have reflected many times when I am away at work or on a trip on what my kids lasting memory of me will be. I remember times when I was driving through the desert all alone and thankful that I said goodbye for the day to my kids. Thankful that we did not have a fight or hurt feelings. I could not imagine the pain and anguish if I were to pass away and leave my last experience a negative one.

And so I work each day to give an extra hug, embrace or kiss to each of my loved ones. Be quick to apologize and say sorry. Give mercy where none is expected or deserved. Last week John Middleton gave me one of the greatest compliments I have ever received. It has brought tears to my eyes many times. We were discussing an employee and I made comment on how my boss has shown greater mercy than I would have. John was very quick to tell me how odd that sounded coming from my mouth because I was the most merciful person he knew. And yet I feel so inadequate. The greatest examply of mercy is Christ. Mercy has not come easy to me. There have been many times in my life that I was ready to dismiss a friendship or relationship due to hurt feelings. My wife has prompted my time and again to give forgiveness.

I don't think I was able to show forgiveness fully until just a few years ago. When we lived in Smithfield Utah, one of our children was sexually abused by a good friend and neighbor. How difficult that was for me as a father. I was so filled with anger and hate that I wanted to see that person phsyically hurt. It brings sadness to my heart today to think that I was so filled with the sorrow that satan wanted me to feel that I was willing to risk my own family to claim what I thought was retribution. Gladly I did not. Our bishop was so kind and gave such wonderful words of advice and encouraged us to not "canker our souls". I must admit when I heard bishop Jensen say that I was ready to blow up on him; but his words were more powerful than my emotions. Greatfully I started down the path of mercy. A few months ago we were able to meet with the perpetrator. It was a difficult but wonderful reunion. Mercy, love, and Christ filled the conversation.

The gift of life is amazing. It is fragile. It is wonderful. Live each day as if it were your last. In 2 Timothy 4 Paul counsels us "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith". I think one of the greatest gifts I can give my children is the gift of mercy. Not just to our own family, but to all I come in contact with. Life is too short to not give that heavenly sent gift!