An Attitude of Gratitude

President Monson, in the April 1992 General Conference spoke on gratitude of mothers, fathers, teachers, friends, country, and Savior in his talk "An Attitude of Gratitude".

He wrote of teachers as such: The teacher not only shapes the expectations and ambitions of pupils; the teacher also influences their attitudes toward their future and themselves. If the teacher loves the students and has high expectations of them, their self-confidence will grow, their capabilities will develop, and their future will be assured.

If life is the greatest teacher, I would say I have received an amazing lesson. But lessons are only effective if the learner is engaged and willing to learn. Thankfully, I have been an eager learner with regards to my health and possible cancer. Often I received a message of hope of good tidings from friends and even strangers.

Many have even mentioned that they can not believe that we are doing so well regardless of what stormy weather seems to be pounding upon us. I think my secret is two fold: good attitude and gratitude.

When I asked Becky to marry me, I promised I would make her laugh at least once every day. Although I have not been perfect at my goal, I would say that there have only been a few days in our married life that I have not accomplished it (most of those were days that I was out of town.) Finding humor in life has been key for me.

But it was not until recently that I truly found how powerful gratitude can be. I heard recently in a talk that we should try to offer a prayer that is filled with gratitude and does not ask for anything. That attitude has permeated my being and I feel truly grateful for so many of life's little quirks. Sorrows look sweeter, grief is easier to bear, and life is not so easily taken for granted.

If all that I receive from my cancer scare is deeper joy and understanding I will be eternally grateful. I would think my greatest blessing at this time is that I can see blessings a little easier. It is in that way that Christ has taken my burdens and made them light. May I be a profitable servant who lives with an attitude of gratitude.

Cumulous Nimbus

I knew that I would have good days and bad days. I was not ready for a rough day to happen today. The frustration of insurance, the worry of money, the realization that my actions (even if not meant) are affecting others, the fitful sleep, the sour orange, have all gotten me a little down today.

I had a horrible time sleeping last night. Waking up more times than I care to count, thinking about my insurance. Worried that they are not paying for everything. It really is a silly thing to get to me, but I guess I have let it get to me today.

So, in the effort to keep my chin up I brought some wonderful, sweet oranges to work. Thinking it was a better choice than the fudge someone brought, I carefully peeled it so as not to get it on my white dress shirt. Smelling the fragrant aroma my mouth was watering. Slowly I took my first expectant bite....ouch. It bit back. The orange was so sour I couldn't even finish the first bite. Since that was a complete bomb I went to wash my hands. As I was drying off, I noticed that my tie was now wet. Guess I washed more than my hands. Ugh...

It sure is funny how there are days that we "carry our own weather." It seems that when I am down that the storms of life billow up a little taller.

In an effort to stay out of my own rain...I ended up eating a piece of fudge. Of course it wasn't what I really wanted, but it was better than a sour orange. For the rest of the day...not sure. Guess I will have to see what I can do to change my weather station.

A Journey of Life

Life has been an interesting ride lately. In fact, I am not even sure what to write. Guess I will start with something simple - gratitude.

The gratitude that I have is for the amount of prayers that have been flooding my way. I have never requested anyone to pray for me, but I have definitely felt the wonderful affects. The power of the priesthood and the blessings I have received have truly sustained me in a difficult time.

I am sure there will be many difficult days and months ahead, but I feel the loving peace of Christ each and everyday. One part of my blessing reminded me to see how a caring Father in Heaven is ever mindful of us. He continues to bless us, even when we may not feel worthy to receive it.

Becky asked me the other day if I felt prepared to meet our Heavenly Father face to face. I do not think that anyone truly feels ready - I see so much that I need to improve upon. And yet, compared to yesterday, last month, or last year, I am much more ready today. I think that is how life helps us learn. If we were born ever ready to return to heaven there would be no need for this mortal life. So, in that aspect I see that I am not ready to return home. But I am more prepared today than in the past. And my goal and constant prayer is that I will be more ready tomorrow than I am today.

This isn't meant to be the "Mark is dieing" entry, just a subtle reminder to myself that I have so much to live for. Even today, as I am facing the reality that the doctors think I have cancer, I am upbeat. I am grateful. I am happy. And most of all I am loved.

My hope is that I can live a life dedicated to Christ. That I may be able to give back what I have so aptly taken - the prayer and love of others. This life is truly a journey. One, that if lived each day with the understanding that we are the sons and daughters of a Heavenly King, will bring us back to His presence.

I really enjoy fast and testimony meetings. The kids are so simple in their understanding of life. Without fail few of the young children will stand and declare their love for their family. I too stand with those sweet children announcing my love for my family. They are what sustains me in life. They are the Journey of Life we take together.