There are many things I want to do in this life. I would love to learn to play the steel drums, pick up a guitar, or even take wood and create masterful pieces. But I just can't seem to find time or ability. Trust me I have tried - I bang on the steering wheel, twiddle my air guitar, and even whittle wood. But each time it does not get me any closer to mastering any of my desires.
I have heard it stated time and again that everyone has a talent. If that is true why can't I seem to find mine? I know that I am poking fun at my steering wheel drums, but honestly I just can't figure out what I am good at.
Some people (ok my biased wife) have stated that one of my talents is teaching. I must admit, I do like to teach. I am the kind of person that will gladly teach any class, at any level, even without much notice. There have been times that I have taught Elders Quorum, Youth Sunday School, or even Gospel Doctrine without any notice (usually as class is beginning). The problem is when I am looking for something to do I just can't get together a group of people and start teaching.
So, I am in search of a talent.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Life is Fragile
I know I already wrote today, but I just can't seem to shut my mind off. Life is fragile. There really isn't any other way to look at it. If something is fragile, we strive to take care of it. To nuture, admire, and love. How amazing this life is. No matter the struggles we face, life is beautiful.
I was talking with John Middleton, a great friend of mine, the other day about lifes challenges. I was reflecting on how strong the Calder family is. Regardless of the trials they are going through they have been patient, caring, loving, and ever faithful. What an example! John pointed out that he is sure just like I would not want the trials the Calder family has, and they would not want mine. How interesting that this life has been designed to help us grow; never designed to push us towards failure.
If life is fragile how should we treat it. President Monson in his article "Now is the Time" stated "How fragile life, how certain death. Because life is fragile and death inevitable, we must make the most of each day." I think making the most of each day means to live life to the fullest. That does nto mean that we should all take up dangerous sports and risk our lives for the seek of thrill. But instead we should let anger, sorrow, pain and misery disappear. Give up the carnal need to hold onto hurt feelings. Be willing to forgive, even when you may not feel that you are ready to. I have reflected many times when I am away at work or on a trip on what my kids lasting memory of me will be. I remember times when I was driving through the desert all alone and thankful that I said goodbye for the day to my kids. Thankful that we did not have a fight or hurt feelings. I could not imagine the pain and anguish if I were to pass away and leave my last experience a negative one.
And so I work each day to give an extra hug, embrace or kiss to each of my loved ones. Be quick to apologize and say sorry. Give mercy where none is expected or deserved. Last week John Middleton gave me one of the greatest compliments I have ever received. It has brought tears to my eyes many times. We were discussing an employee and I made comment on how my boss has shown greater mercy than I would have. John was very quick to tell me how odd that sounded coming from my mouth because I was the most merciful person he knew. And yet I feel so inadequate. The greatest examply of mercy is Christ. Mercy has not come easy to me. There have been many times in my life that I was ready to dismiss a friendship or relationship due to hurt feelings. My wife has prompted my time and again to give forgiveness.
I don't think I was able to show forgiveness fully until just a few years ago. When we lived in Smithfield Utah, one of our children was sexually abused by a good friend and neighbor. How difficult that was for me as a father. I was so filled with anger and hate that I wanted to see that person phsyically hurt. It brings sadness to my heart today to think that I was so filled with the sorrow that satan wanted me to feel that I was willing to risk my own family to claim what I thought was retribution. Gladly I did not. Our bishop was so kind and gave such wonderful words of advice and encouraged us to not "canker our souls". I must admit when I heard bishop Jensen say that I was ready to blow up on him; but his words were more powerful than my emotions. Greatfully I started down the path of mercy. A few months ago we were able to meet with the perpetrator. It was a difficult but wonderful reunion. Mercy, love, and Christ filled the conversation.
The gift of life is amazing. It is fragile. It is wonderful. Live each day as if it were your last. In 2 Timothy 4 Paul counsels us "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith". I think one of the greatest gifts I can give my children is the gift of mercy. Not just to our own family, but to all I come in contact with. Life is too short to not give that heavenly sent gift!
I was talking with John Middleton, a great friend of mine, the other day about lifes challenges. I was reflecting on how strong the Calder family is. Regardless of the trials they are going through they have been patient, caring, loving, and ever faithful. What an example! John pointed out that he is sure just like I would not want the trials the Calder family has, and they would not want mine. How interesting that this life has been designed to help us grow; never designed to push us towards failure.
If life is fragile how should we treat it. President Monson in his article "Now is the Time" stated "How fragile life, how certain death. Because life is fragile and death inevitable, we must make the most of each day." I think making the most of each day means to live life to the fullest. That does nto mean that we should all take up dangerous sports and risk our lives for the seek of thrill. But instead we should let anger, sorrow, pain and misery disappear. Give up the carnal need to hold onto hurt feelings. Be willing to forgive, even when you may not feel that you are ready to. I have reflected many times when I am away at work or on a trip on what my kids lasting memory of me will be. I remember times when I was driving through the desert all alone and thankful that I said goodbye for the day to my kids. Thankful that we did not have a fight or hurt feelings. I could not imagine the pain and anguish if I were to pass away and leave my last experience a negative one.
And so I work each day to give an extra hug, embrace or kiss to each of my loved ones. Be quick to apologize and say sorry. Give mercy where none is expected or deserved. Last week John Middleton gave me one of the greatest compliments I have ever received. It has brought tears to my eyes many times. We were discussing an employee and I made comment on how my boss has shown greater mercy than I would have. John was very quick to tell me how odd that sounded coming from my mouth because I was the most merciful person he knew. And yet I feel so inadequate. The greatest examply of mercy is Christ. Mercy has not come easy to me. There have been many times in my life that I was ready to dismiss a friendship or relationship due to hurt feelings. My wife has prompted my time and again to give forgiveness.
I don't think I was able to show forgiveness fully until just a few years ago. When we lived in Smithfield Utah, one of our children was sexually abused by a good friend and neighbor. How difficult that was for me as a father. I was so filled with anger and hate that I wanted to see that person phsyically hurt. It brings sadness to my heart today to think that I was so filled with the sorrow that satan wanted me to feel that I was willing to risk my own family to claim what I thought was retribution. Gladly I did not. Our bishop was so kind and gave such wonderful words of advice and encouraged us to not "canker our souls". I must admit when I heard bishop Jensen say that I was ready to blow up on him; but his words were more powerful than my emotions. Greatfully I started down the path of mercy. A few months ago we were able to meet with the perpetrator. It was a difficult but wonderful reunion. Mercy, love, and Christ filled the conversation.
The gift of life is amazing. It is fragile. It is wonderful. Live each day as if it were your last. In 2 Timothy 4 Paul counsels us "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith". I think one of the greatest gifts I can give my children is the gift of mercy. Not just to our own family, but to all I come in contact with. Life is too short to not give that heavenly sent gift!
Journals for a Life Remembered
This is a very interesting and tough time for our ward. Recently Brother Duane Calder passed away from a brain tumor. The funeral was amazing. Sister Kristen Calder and her girls are such a strength a personal hero to me. But that is not why I am writing. Rachael came to me telling me that she was talking to the Calder girls and asked if Duane kept a journal. Although I am not sure if he did or how in depth it was, Rachael encouraged me to do so. With the sweet tears and look that only a child can give a parent, she reminded me that I have had so many spiritual experiences in my life. If I kept a journal my children would be able to know of some of those experiences.
And here it is another day, with me not really wanting to journal. I am not even sure why I do not. Perhaps it is the the guilt of feeling like I should be doing something else. Maybe it is because when I do have a moment I want to whisk away the pressure of the world by watching tv or reading or book. Or perhaps it is because I struggle to put down my thoughts. To my they sound like the ramblings of a deranged mind. I am not sure what my excuse of the day is today.
But here I am, at home in the middle of the weekday, writing in my journal of thoughts. I think I decided to pick it up today because we found out today that another of our dear friends has passed away. Another life tragically taken at such a young age. Linda Dexter has suffered much in her life. She has certainly battled many physical and mental issues. But I think most of all she has suffered from lack of friendship. Many in the ward are nice to her. They chat and talk, but few have really been able to get to know her. As I sit here with tears running down my cheek, I think of one of my greatest heroes in life. Becky has been able to get to know Linda in a way that few have had a chance to do.
It started as many friendships do - visiting teaching. You see, Linda is Becky's visiting teacher. The lessons and visits were nice and friendly, but as time went on the friendship grew. Recently Becky has been such a close confidant that Linda bore her whole soul to her. The ups, the downs - relationships, etc. Just last week the two ladies went to the mall to shop for Andrews birthday. Becky came home so excited to have such a close friend. One that was and is centered on Christ.
Becky and I have had several dealings with depression. We have experience going through it, helping children, friends, and loved ones. It is interesting that the tone in our ward from what I have heard is that Linda committed suicide. How sad and judgemental that is! Even if it is true so many people speak without experience. How easy it is for them to see they messy Dexter home and grumble stating tritely that they just need to "de-clutter". If they only understood the emotional and mental struggles. Perhaps someday, when I am more courageous, I will write about my struggles with depression. Let it suffice to say that we should not focus on what might be. But focus on what is. A family is in morning; a life has been lost. and generations will feel the effects. We do not know if Linda committed suicide. Even is she did that should not change our opportunity to love and to serve. Now more than ever the family needs our help, our love, and our support. To the good sisters who are helping clean and organize - I thank you. May each and every one of you feel the love of Christ as you serve and not murmur. May your hearts be softened, and your love increase. Christ of over all things and he has suffered this for all. It is my prayer that we allow the atonement to work on each of us, sinner and victim alike.
And here it is another day, with me not really wanting to journal. I am not even sure why I do not. Perhaps it is the the guilt of feeling like I should be doing something else. Maybe it is because when I do have a moment I want to whisk away the pressure of the world by watching tv or reading or book. Or perhaps it is because I struggle to put down my thoughts. To my they sound like the ramblings of a deranged mind. I am not sure what my excuse of the day is today.
But here I am, at home in the middle of the weekday, writing in my journal of thoughts. I think I decided to pick it up today because we found out today that another of our dear friends has passed away. Another life tragically taken at such a young age. Linda Dexter has suffered much in her life. She has certainly battled many physical and mental issues. But I think most of all she has suffered from lack of friendship. Many in the ward are nice to her. They chat and talk, but few have really been able to get to know her. As I sit here with tears running down my cheek, I think of one of my greatest heroes in life. Becky has been able to get to know Linda in a way that few have had a chance to do.
It started as many friendships do - visiting teaching. You see, Linda is Becky's visiting teacher. The lessons and visits were nice and friendly, but as time went on the friendship grew. Recently Becky has been such a close confidant that Linda bore her whole soul to her. The ups, the downs - relationships, etc. Just last week the two ladies went to the mall to shop for Andrews birthday. Becky came home so excited to have such a close friend. One that was and is centered on Christ.
Becky and I have had several dealings with depression. We have experience going through it, helping children, friends, and loved ones. It is interesting that the tone in our ward from what I have heard is that Linda committed suicide. How sad and judgemental that is! Even if it is true so many people speak without experience. How easy it is for them to see they messy Dexter home and grumble stating tritely that they just need to "de-clutter". If they only understood the emotional and mental struggles. Perhaps someday, when I am more courageous, I will write about my struggles with depression. Let it suffice to say that we should not focus on what might be. But focus on what is. A family is in morning; a life has been lost. and generations will feel the effects. We do not know if Linda committed suicide. Even is she did that should not change our opportunity to love and to serve. Now more than ever the family needs our help, our love, and our support. To the good sisters who are helping clean and organize - I thank you. May each and every one of you feel the love of Christ as you serve and not murmur. May your hearts be softened, and your love increase. Christ of over all things and he has suffered this for all. It is my prayer that we allow the atonement to work on each of us, sinner and victim alike.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Beaches
I love beaches. Little beaches, big beaches, cold beaches, warm beaches. If there is sand and it is adjacent to the ocean, I am happy.
Something Interesting
Isn't interesting how life can throw you curve balls. And they come when you least expect it too.
Monday, May 19, 2008
A Brand New Day
Wow, what a day! Rachael got her license today!!! Yea, we are so excited. I called up our insurance company today and added her - I was not expecting the sticker shock. Another $500 every 6 months. But after I got over the initial shock, I realized that the price of sanity is well worth it. Of course there will be added insanity - like my daughter now has more freedom to come and go. This leads to other opportunities for her to make mistakes. But at this point we have to let her be more independant. We have taught her well, now it is time for her to begin to test her own freedom.
And freedom will be great for us as well. As I am posting this blog, Rachael is at cheer - and we did not have to drive her! So now we have some freedom too. She can drive to cheer, to her friends across town, to the physical therapist, etc etc etc. That in and of itself is well worth the added insurance premium.
So today is a brand new day. A day of freedom, a day of liberation...and yes, a day to be worried that she is out in the world and we are not there with her. Rachael, we love you and are so proud. Congratulations!!!
And freedom will be great for us as well. As I am posting this blog, Rachael is at cheer - and we did not have to drive her! So now we have some freedom too. She can drive to cheer, to her friends across town, to the physical therapist, etc etc etc. That in and of itself is well worth the added insurance premium.
So today is a brand new day. A day of freedom, a day of liberation...and yes, a day to be worried that she is out in the world and we are not there with her. Rachael, we love you and are so proud. Congratulations!!!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Slow to Update
Ok - so I have been pretty slow to update my blog lately. What am I talking about lately? I have historically been slow to update my blog. So, here it is; consider it updated :)
Really I have a lot to update and chat about. This past weekend Becky and I attended a conference about money management. It has really changed the way Becky and I look at our finances. Of course time will tell, but I can honestly say that I am ready to practice what we have learned about. Saving, investing, paying debt, etc. All things we have learned about in school, family, and life, but never in such a profound way. Let is just suffice to say we are better people today than we were last week.
Isn't that the goal of life? To be better today then you were yesterday? I don't think that anyone can expect perfection, but we can expect to make stides in the direction of perfection. Ok, with that being said, I think I need to sign off for the night. I will honestly try to update my blog more (at least 3 times a month from here on out!)
Really I have a lot to update and chat about. This past weekend Becky and I attended a conference about money management. It has really changed the way Becky and I look at our finances. Of course time will tell, but I can honestly say that I am ready to practice what we have learned about. Saving, investing, paying debt, etc. All things we have learned about in school, family, and life, but never in such a profound way. Let is just suffice to say we are better people today than we were last week.
Isn't that the goal of life? To be better today then you were yesterday? I don't think that anyone can expect perfection, but we can expect to make stides in the direction of perfection. Ok, with that being said, I think I need to sign off for the night. I will honestly try to update my blog more (at least 3 times a month from here on out!)
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